I’m seeking treatment for the first time since 2012, and I usually hate it. From 2010 to 2012, I tried my fair share of psychiatric medications Lithium. Depakote. Xanax. Klonopin. Abilify. Zyprexa. Haldol. Seroqul. Risperdal. Prozac. Celexa. One after another, they either failed to offer stability or caused side effects…

I wasn’t sure who I’d be once I reached some level of stability. Looking back, I think I began experiencing small scale hypomanic episodes around the age of 15. That’s 15 years of cycling. That’s 15 years of becoming consumed by this hobby, that belief, some goal just to suddenly…

I have the unfortunate privilege of access to my therapy notes, almost immediately. My husband’s company provides free therapy through the Teladoc service. The second therapist I met with was a fantastic fit and I’ve been talking to her for around 9 months now. I can’t help but read what…

No one would believe me if my paranoia was founded. Admittedly, I’m mostly writing to untangle these feelings in my mind. In March 2021, I headed into my worst psychosis to date. It was mild compared to the episodes I watched my mom spiral into when I was a kid…

I’ve had these thoughts for years. Perhaps they came along with the intrusive thoughts, which started immediately after giving birth to my oldest. I can’t say for sure. But I can say that these concerns have grown more and more severe over time. — I’ve always been on the cautious side when it comes to superstition. Better safe than sorry. Why walk under a ladder when you can walk around it? What does it hurt to toss a little salt over your shoulder when you knock over the shaker? But walking under a ladder…

I’ve written about a recent trip to the emergency room, due to a manic episode cropping up. Now, the medical bills are rolling in. — It’s no surprise that the US costs for mental illness treatment vary widely, but are usually shockingly high. I knew this when a manic episode progressed far more quickly than I’m use to a few weeks ago. Before I begin, I want to share a few statistics about the average…

Have you seen the ads for a brand called Wool&, who extensively advertise their wool dress 100 day challenge? — If your browser history is remotely similar to mine, you probably have. I’ve been tempted by their Rowena swing dress for years. As of right now, 2,477 people have completed the challenge. In October 2022, I decided to join their ranks. I spent 100 days wearing the dress for no…

My dad and I connected on music. I grew up choosing from his extension cd collection. We would climb into the truck and blast hits from bands like Godsmack, Linkin Park, and Disturbed. He would test me. Who is the band? What’s the title? What’s the album? What’s the track…

I’d always wanted to homeschool. My oldest and I started doing some planned, play-based learning using the Bloom & Root Early Years Vol. 1 curriculum when he was two. Admittedly, I was striving for structure as I struggled with my mental illness, but didn’t recognize that at the time. In…